"Do you Christian, take your fellow Muslim as your compatriot, to accept and to hold, forming together a great nation, that none can do apart?"
These words resonated in Christian's ears. Can I take a vow that many before us have broken? Can we defy history, can we forget our past, are we free enough from the chains that got tighter with time? Can I trust Muslim to say "yes"?
He's in a separate room being asked by the officiate if he would commit to being my compatriot, to a life of sharing and understanding, together united by our faith in Lebanon as a whole.
What would be his answer? Do I dare doubt Muslim? do I dare trust Muslim?
Many have warned me before, I can say yes and be bound forever, but Muslim would say no and leave me to die on this altar.
Though Muslim's eyes were warm and reassuring the moment they were separated, the voices inside Christian's head, overwhelmed by ghosts of the past and manipulators of the present, left him hesitating.
Christian ruminated on these voices over and over, until his worst suspicions, his darkest fears prevailed and the truth was disregarded.
"NO" he replied, and fell on his knees, as if he was weighted down by these voices.
And the same rejection was heard in the other room. "NO", cried Muslim, and tears fell down his face, loading fears and cries of distrust in Christian.
And so, Muslim and Christian never were united, and they could never form a nation called Lebanon. It is a would-have been nation, which conditions were never fulfilled.
It is not a happy ending. Not for Muslim, not for Christian, and not for Lebanon, the would-have been family.
Lack of trust made them both refuse each other. And this is a very common situation, when both parties refuse a chance of improvement, driven by a fear of being deceived and weakened. Some people choose to hate by fear of loving and not being loved back.
People think that by their refusal, they protect themselves, they win. But when they both say no, nobody wins, and the ensemble of both is the biggest loser, for it is not formed. So what they think is in sort a way of winning is in fact losing.
However, it is true that an acceptance from one side accompanied by a refusal from the other is a defeat to the first. But it is not a victory to the latter; it is merely an unchanging situation, not losing but not winning either.
The only victory could be achieved when both say "YES" to each other. They both win, but most of all, the ensemble wins. Lebanon wins, the family wins, the world wins.
War was never the correct answer. Acceptance is. And it is there, when all words and speeches vanish, when all darkness fade away; it is there and will always be.
Don't be afraid to say "Yes" out loud, don't hesitate. Be trusting and trustworthy. Trust yourself, trust the other, trust the world you are forming, trust the love you are founding.

A would have been nation

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