Today

Today a part of me dies. Today I cry. Today I let it all out.
Today I am down again. Today I feel my hear fall again. Today I hear it break.
Today I am empty.
Today I watch my sand castle disappear with an ocean stroke.
Today I look at the horizon and implore
"Make me hate you. I am incapable of hating, especially you.
Make me hate you for my vanished castle.
make me hate you for your dangerous waters.
make me hate you for your careless moves, your violent waves, your gentle touch.
make me hate you for never being the one who comes to me,
make me hate you for my never-ending trips to you,
make me hate you for taking your own space, for forging your own world,
never minding me, that little girl on the beach building a sand castle, thinking that you would leave your world to belong to hers.
make me hate you for the impossible.
make me hate you for making me feel like a little girl whose sand castle vanished.
But I am incapable of hating, especially you."
Today a part of me dies.
My belief in sand castles vanishes.
Today I am down.
Today I grow up.