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What's inside my head
6 juillet 2008

The oldest

I am the oldest of all, I am the oldest.
my memories are the furthest, my memories are the strongest,
my memories are the most evasive, I am the oldest.

with no dreams ahead, I only look behind,
and my past becomes my dreams.

I have the most impossible dreams of all, I am the oldest.

I have no fears, I have no worries,
but when I look into death's eyes, I feel like he's looking at mine,
waiting to capture me in a moment of unwariness,
when all my past will cease to exist, with me.

I hold the greatest fears of all, I am the oldest.

all is a memory, where even the smile comes back as a tear,
where the most joyful memories are your greatest sorrows,
all is a memory, all is dreams, all is inside, inhibiting the outside,
all is in the past, all is from the past, and nothing gets through,
nothing gets through this cruel ruthless gate,
all is in inside, on the other side, nothing is here, nothing is now.

and I stand at the opposite side of the gate, motionless,
as those memories are getting farther,
and nothing is added, nothing is added,
I stand motionless and nothing is added,
while larger holes separate us, I am the oldest.

Nothing is added, since you've been gone,
all is the same since you've been gone,
all is about you, all my memories are about you,
and since you've been gone, nothing gets through,
nothing is added.

Since you've been gone, I am the oldest.

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What's inside my head
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