Misanthropy

Somehow misanthropic:

I look at others and I get irritated. I stare at others, I observe them, when they know someone is watching and think everyone is, when they have to act like they're not acting. I look at them but I don't give a shit about them. I just look at them to study them. I look at them to study their poor nature, their pretentious knowledge, their ignorance, their small minds, their fake being, their fake walk, their fake smile, their fake caring, their fake love. I pitty those fools. I pitty all human kind. We are all doomed. To know that we don't really know, to feel that we don't really feel, to have the power to feel powerless and know we are. But they all fake it, they all get carried away by societies, they are all the product of thousand of years of evolution, backwards evolution. The primitive man is the most human. We're just getting less and less human. We're something else. We brag about being the monsters of technology.. but we're just some virus, some infection.. and day after day, we grow bigger, and the infection is worse. day after day, we drown in ignorance. day after day, we grow apart from our human nature, and we become some synthetical beings.
And I watch others, I watch you. And I hate it when they watch me. so stop watching me. but I dont give a shit about you. you dont intimidate me. You just irritate me with your stare. your curious, empty being, that is trying to fill your infinite blank by staring at others like me. I don't look at others like you do. I study the human nature. I look at you to understand you and understand myself. I look at you and I get irritated, because I can see myself in you. I get irritated why you're not evolved like me. I can see myself in that loser, I can see myself in that addicted, in that greedy or that egocentric. I can see myself walking your silly unconfident walk, I can see myself laughing out loud. I can see myself in you. And I get irritated. I was once like you. All of you. I've been there. I am all of you, but I am not one of you anymore. I watch you and I don't want to be what I'm watching. I'm one step forward, you're one step behind. I analyze you, I uderstand you, I predict you. And I pitty you. You and your systems... just stuck there, in the middle of all those virtual systems. And you act. And you fool yourself. Our human faces are not merely human; just clowns and full make-up actors. I am the only spectator. And worse, I'm noy enjoying the show. Our supposedly natural free movements are weighted down by so many rules. Our thoughts are modulated to fit the limited borns of the systems. Our free minds are the slaves of our own obsession of being free minded. Our goals, our choices, are not really ours.
I see you walk the walk, and I see myself in you. I understand you, but I can't stand you. Why don't you just take the step.. be honest with yourself and come join me and let's not enjoy the show together. But you won't just take the step. You're a product, you're a synthetized human being. You walk your walk, like it is yours. I watch you. You are weak. You are a failure. You're not a good actor. I can see through you. I laugh at you. you're trying to hide it. But I'm a spectator, and worse, I'm a renowned actor. I know the secrets of the job. And I laugh at you, novice. I can see your inner selfish filthy self. Your white make-up won't fool me. I interprete your acts. Deny it as much as you want, but denial doesn't work outside the systems. And I'm outside. Looking at humanity deteriorate. Looking at savage cannibals exclaim when they hear the word cannibal. Seeing corruption, denial, illusioned people everywhere. Everyone, lost, amongst many other products. Their convitcions are illusions, their dreams are some poor version of a selfish reality, their morals are compromised, their laws are forced. Poor souls, ignorant souls, taken away by this torrent of hierarchy, of interdictions and infrictions.
I look at others and I get irritated. Why they never take that one step. Why they seem so far behind. I can't stand them but I understand them.
Stop watching me. I'm afraid I'm just another actor, and you're at times a spectator, just like me. I'm afraid I am what I hate. I'm afraid I hate you for who we are. Stop watching me. It degrades me. It makes me an actor. Stop watching me. I'm a renowned actor. The best in the business. I know the system so well. Stop watching me. I am worse than you. I'm a renowned actor. The best. So good I act as a spectator, and believe my act. Stop watching me. I know myself, I hate myself, I know you, I hate you. I walk the silly walk, and hate you when you walk it. I'm afraid to realize I look as silly as you. I'm afraid I'm projecting my flaws on you. I'm afraid I can't look in the mirror.